There's apparently some hanky-panky going on in the bathrooms of my Alma Maater:
If you see strangers in the building, give us a call. If you see people walking around with bags that look like they may be carrying tools or parts, give us a call. We're hoping to pick up some sightings of suspicious people in the area.All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not an East Bay plumber.
This guy made a couple of big mistakes. Well, I'm actually sure that he's made quite a few mistakes over the course of his life, but he made a couple of big ones recently.
*hint* Nobody takes Diner's Club anymore.
...and I'm too damn lazy to do anything but a Google Images search, here's a picture of Sarah Michelle Gellar:
You know, because, well, I don't really have to spell it out, do I?
New York police said they arrested a man who allegedly tried to withdraw money from Paul Simon's bank account
by impersonating the musician.
Police sources said Rafael Ramos, 54, attempted to withdraw $4,300 from Simon's account at a Citibank branch Wednesday using the recording artist's name, bank account number and Social Security number, the New York Post reported Thursday.
However, the bank teller was familiar with Simon's work and recognized that the 6-foot-1 Ramos was 10 inches taller and years younger than Simon.
If movies and teevee shows have taught me anything (and they've taught me lots of stuff) it's more traditional to bake this kind of stuff into a cake:
On Monday, jail officers found tobacco and a baggie full of oxycodone pills inside a melon that was destined for use as food for jail inmates.
It wasn’t hard to spot.
“It was like a pumpkin, with a noticeable cut around the top,” said Phil Stanley, jail administrator. “Somebody would have had to be a little bit more sneaky than they were.”
From the unusual sentences department:
A 19-year-old Scottish man who admitted to threatening his grandmother's parrot for interrupting his sleep was ordered to apologize with chocolates.
...some feminine pulchritude is in order, so here's Kelly Hu, looking, um casual:
At the risk of offending any Jews, Muslims, or vegans who are reading this, there's nothing quite so heavenly as some perfectly-grilled baby back ribs or a few pieces of wonderfully pan-sizzled strips of bacon (okay, I was just kidding about offending the vegans) but pork products don't exactly make me feel, um, like this...
Argentina's president recommended pork as an alternative to Viagra Wednesday, saying she spent a satisfying weekend with her husband after eating barbecued pork.
"I've just been told something I didn't know; that eating pork improves your sex life ... I'd say it's a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra," President Cristina Fernandez said to leaders of the pig farming industry.
So, PETA wants the town of Punxsutawney to stop using actual groundhogs to predict the weather, and wrote town officials, claiming that doing so is cruel:
Gemma Vaughan, an Animals in Entertainment Specialist with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, wrote in the letter to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club saying keeping Punxsutawney Phil on display year-round is a "cruel" way to treat the animal, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reported Wednesday.
"Make the compassionate decision to use an animatronic Phil and retire the live groundhogs who are used for Groundhog Day activities to a sanctuary," Vaughan wrote. "Tradition is no excuse for cruelty."
"Phil is probably treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania," Deeley said. "He's got air conditioning in the summer, his pen is heated in winter...He has everything but a TV in there. What more do you want?"
Cops stop cyclist with butcher knife-pool cue axe
You'll be shocked, I'm sure to find out that they also found drug paraphernalia and prescription painkillers belonging to someone else on the fine, upstanding citizen who was riding around on a bike with a "butcher knife-pool cue axe."
Yeah.
...and, um, you probably don't want to try to break into jail:
At about 4:10 a.m., sheriff deputies at the jail spotted a man scrambling over a tall fence that surrounds a secure lot where arresting officers unload potential prisoners and escort them inside. Jail officials met the man on the ground and contacted Medford police.
The man, James Merrill DeVore, 28, told police that he was distraught over the death of his mother two years ago and admitted that he had been drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. He told officers that he needed help, so he went to the jail to ask for assistance. When he didn't get an immediate answer at the front entrance, he decided to go around to the back.
Medford police charged him with disorderly conduct and trespassing.
...and today happens to be her birthday, here's a picture of Diane Lane:
Apparently, today was National Pie Day, and I didn't get any friggin' pie...
The American Pie Council says marking National Pie Day Thursday is a good way for folks to get back to one of the best simple pleasures of life.
Linda Hoskins, executive director of the Chicago association, said a good pie has long been a way for Americans to express their appreciation to friends, family members, neighbors and even members of the military serving their country.
"There's something touching about giving someone a gift as special as a pie," Hoskins said in a written statement. "If you were getting a gift, would you rather receive an ordinary tie, or an extraordinary pie?"
I guess that when you regulate prostitution, you get regulations like this:
Lodewijk Asscher, who faces re-election in March, said prostitution should be banned between 4 and 8 a.m. to complement existing efforts to fight crime, exploitation and human trafficking in Amsterdam's 800-year-old red light district.
"Only the biggest creeps and boozers are walking around at those hours," he said on Dutch radio. "Women really dread working then and sometimes the most vulnerable are used."
But the local union for prostitutes said it was against Asscher's proposal because the early morning hours are among the most lucrative for many women.
"This is not a good idea, this is the time when the prostitutes can make the most money," said Metje Blaak, a spokeswoman for the Rode Draad union for prostitutes.
