If you were planning on taking a vacation in a certain area of South Carolina, prepare to be disappointed/relieved:
The U.S. Forest Service said a South Carolina camp site known as Hell Hole may be closed to camping due to unsanitary conditions.
Sumter National Forest rangers said the camp site, near the Chauga River, has become unsanitary due to trash and human waste left behind by campers, WSPA-TV, Spartanburg, S.C., reported Tuesday.
First of all, my family went down to the San Diego area for my Great Aunt Thelma's 90th birthday party. I got to see nearly all of my West Coast relatives, and a good time was had by all.
When I got back, I found out that my best friend, Andy, asked his girlfriend to marry him, and she said yes. Then, he asked me to be his Best Man. That's the greatest honor I think anybody has ever given me. I said yes, of course.
Then, I found twenty dollars.
All in all, not too shabby.
You know, I could make some kind of a crass joke about the following story, but I sort of wasted the only decent one on the headline.
The Martin County Sheriff's office said Maureen Raymond, 49, of Port St. Lucie was pulled over around 9:20 p.m. Sunday by a deputy responding to a report of a reckless driver, TCPalm reported Friday.
Raymond, who the arrest report said smelled of alcohol and possessed an empty glass that smelled like it had contained an alcoholic beverage, told the deputy she could not comply with his instructions in the field sobriety test because of her "big boobies."
"I asked her if she wanted to attempt the task and she stated if I hold her hand," the arrest affidavit states. "I asked her again if she would like to attempt the task and she stated not really because she has big breasts."
That's what they tell you when it's closing time at the bar (and, probably, public libraries in the seedier part of town) but there's one kind of establishment where it's not quite that simple:
Coconino County Sheriff's Office spokesman Gerry Blair says 44-year-old Martin Batieni Kombate was arrested in Flagstaff last week for trespassing and was scheduled for release Monday on his own recognizance on the charge.
But when detention officers from the sheriff's office showed up to escort him out, Kombate allegedly said he wasn't leaving and was staying because he couldn't find his wallet.
If movies and teevee shows have taught us anything, it's that a computer network is going to become sentient in the not too distant future and decide to wipe humanity off the face of the earth. And when the robot historians of the future write the chronicles of that dark time, they probably won't trace it all back to something with a cool name like SkyNet:
A Chicago area blogger has made it her mission to expose the unusual and humorous names people in the region give their WiFi networks.
Alexandra Janelli, the blogger behind WTFWiFi, said she began her quest when she lived in New York and found networks with names including "I eat babies for breakfast," "tequila rabbi" and "I've seen you naked," the Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday.
Janelli said she has since moved to Evanston, Ill., and discovered networks there and in Chicago with bizarre names including "Michael Jackson Day Care Service," "Andrews Don't Snitch," "Baby Loves Glue" and "Stop looking in my windows."
I heard this song ("The Dream" by Thee Oh Sees) on the Claremont Colleges radio station on the way home tonight, and it rocks pretty goddamn hard.
Okay, this may just be a coincidence, but it's still pretty weird:
Jan. 4 birthdays have been running in one Ohio family for four generations.
Richard Stiff of the Toledo area turned 65 on Wednesday. The day is also the 34th birthday of his daughter, Julia Gonyer, and it's the first birthday of Gonyer's daughter, Kourtney.
The string began with Stiff's late father, Marshall Stiff, who was born on Jan. 4, 1924.
I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm sure heading into this one happier and healthier. Let's all put 2011 behind us and make the most of 2012.
The internet has done a lot to simplify our lives. We have information, shopping, and filthy, filthy pornography right at our fingertips. It's also made it much easier to identify the criminally stupid:
The Coconino County Sheriff's Office said Frankie Almuina, 20, and Kayla Almuina, 19, of Ash Fork, were arrested after someone saw the pictures of their children, ages 2 and 10 months, on Facebook and reported them to a child abuse hotline, The (Flagstaff) Arizona Daily Sun reported Friday.
Deputies said the pictures depicted the children with their wrists, ankles and mouths bound with duct tape, and one of the pictures depicted a child hung upside down from an exercise machine.
I hope everyone got to spend some time with friends and family today like I did, and I hope Santa brought you all something nice. As for the true meaning of Christmas, well, I don't think anybody does a better job of explaining it than Linus:
We've all dabbled in a little harmless welfare fraud here and there, but come on, guy:
A former Greek policeman who invented 19 fictional offspring to claim benefits for what would have been the largest family in Greece has been arrested for benefit fraud, police said.
The former police officer, divorced and with no children of his own, quit his 1,000-euro-a-month ($1,300) job in 2001 and has been living solely on benefits ever since, police said on Thursday.
Using photographs of children he found online, the 54-year-old man forged birth certificates and other documents needed to claim benefits for at least one child a year since 1996.
Police estimate he made at least 150,000 euros in claims over 15 years, but the actual amount is probably much higher.
I've been using Amazon Prime for just about all of my Chrimmas shopping for the last couple of years, and it's perfect for someone like me who procrastinates like crazy and hates going to the mall (or, really, any stores) at this time of year. Just about anything I order shows up within two days, and I don't pay for shipping. Awesome.
I ordered something the other day without checking first to see whether or not the person I was going to give it to already had it, and you can see where that's going. I tried to cancel my order, but since they send stuff out at warp speed, they told me that wouldn't work and instead directed me to their returns page. I'd be able to print out a shipping label and send it back at no cost, so that would be fine.
Now, here's where it gets really cool. When I clicked through, intending to print out the label, they told me that I could just keep the item and they would refund my money. How cool is that?
If the mall wasn't already dead to me, it certainly would be as of now.
So, some guy down in North Carolina wanted to spread a little Christmas cheer, but he apparently decided to do so in the wussiest town in the South:
Jeffery Acker, who donned the top section of an inflatable snowman Sunday and strolled through downtown Vanceboro while carrying a 4-foot candy cane, said his walk was meant to be inspire holiday spirit, not fear, WCTI-TV, New Bern, N.C., reported Thursday.
[...]
Acker is not accused of any illegal activities and Police Chief William Turner, whose department received four 911 calls about a man in a scary costume, said he has "more important" things to investigate.
