They'll show anything on the teevee these days

I was worried when I saw the following headline:

Public To See Alleged R. Kelly Sex Tape

Good God, I thought, are they going to make everybody watch R. Kelly (allegedly) pissing on that poor girl? That's just friggin' awful!

But on closer inspection of the article, it appears that the "public" just refers to people in the courtroom. Looks like America dodged a bullet.