PETArded

Ah, the folly of youth. It seems Chris Garnett, a 19-year-old PETA staffer, has decided to legally change his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

"People don't believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion," Garnett, er, KentuckyFriedCruelty.com, said in a statement.

I'm frankly shocked that people wouldn't believe that a (nominal) adult would be named KentuckyFriedCruelty.com--I mean, it just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? And I mean, it's not like it's mind-numbingly stupid or anything. Oh, wait.

"Stacked" star Pamela Anderson, who has narrated a PETA video showing the alleged abuse, supports Garnett's name change.

"I'm sure Chris can't wait till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back," the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse "is awful and has to stop."

I believe this may be the first time in my life that I've ever become hungry for something out of spite. I mean, if we keep eating chicken, maybe Chris will never get to change his name back, and that gives me a happy. The only thing about this story that gives me pause about eating chicken is the fact that chickens may actually be smarter than certain human beings.