Comedian's wife knows better than you

Laurie David, wife of Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David, Manbearpig's movie co-producer, and all-around global warming nag, is going out on tour with Sheryl Crow to talk down to the rubes about her pet issue.

While admitting to being nervous about Oscar season, David is moving on to her next headline event to "kick up the dirt" in mid-America and the nation's capital with one of the biggest names in music.

"Sheryl Crow and I are going to go out on her biodiesel tour bus, starting in Texas, and invite friends to join us on various stops," said David, speaking in the garden outside her Los Angeles-area home office overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

"We really want to go to places where people are not talking about these issues as much as they should be." [emphasis mine]

And nobody knows better than the wife of a teevee comedian just how much people ought to be talking about an issue that she happens to be interested in. How incredibly condescending.

During 10 days in April, the two women will drive to Washington, D.C., for Earth Day, where she hopes some of her 525,000 virtual marchers -- people who have signed on to her Web site (http://www.stopglobalwarming.org) -- will join them in person.

"Virtual marchers." That's pretty lame. Although, on the other hand, I guess my internet surfing habits make me a virtual porn star, which is kinda cool.

"The rest of the world is so much more engaged on this issue than the United States," she said. "We're the biggest cause of global warming pollution now and we are doing the least about it and that is not acceptable."

Translation: "All the cool countries (i.e. Europe) are doing it, so we should, too." And while we're at it, let's have some of that double digit unemployment and low, low productivity, while we're at it.

But looking toward the next elections, she said she would do anything to get Gore to make another run at the presidency after he was edged out by Bush in 2000.

"He's not planning on it for the moment but it would be one of my dreams to see him run for president again," David said.

Mine, too, Laurie. But I suspect my reasons are a little different from yours.

Even with the shift in political power, David said her goal is unchanged: "To permeate popular culture in every way I can to get people to wake up to what is going on."

She believes Hollywood is doing an admirable job on fighting global warming, from studios like Warner Bros going green to celebrities like Leonardo di Caprio embracing the hybrid cars her family has been driving for years.

And what is Larry David's role in his wife's crusade? Well, he drives a hybrid on his HBO show, funds some of her activities and, perhaps most importantly, keeps her laughing.

Quick, somebody get these people a brace of medals! After all, they're our betters. And don't you forget it, you unwashed troglodytes.

Read the whole thing, especially if you want to know how her family reacted to her insistence on buying (probably quite literally) scratchy-ass recycled toilet paper. Just imagine how the rest of America is going to react.