That crying baby doesn't seem so bad

Well, not compared to what happened in Nashville the other day. I mean, that dry, recycled air in the cabins on commercial flights is bad enough without this:

It may be one problem airline security officials never envisioned -- a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odors from her flatulence.

The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington, D.C., said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport.

Other passengers reported the odor of burned matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Lowrance said on Wednesday.

"Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

I bet everyone was really happy with her after all of that. I mean, think of all the other passengers on that plane who missed connecting flights because of the farty woman. I bet they were pleased as punch.

She wasn't charged with any crimes, but it seems like she ought to pay for the canine search team at the very least.

Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Lowrance said.

"I've had calls from people all over the country about this," she said. "And I don't have the answer to this problem."

Well, you could always try using some of this. Or, you could just lay off the beans and cabbage before heading off to the airport.