It should say: "By all means, please get in the washer"

You all know how much I love to mock stupid people, right? Well, they have a contest up in Michigan that shows just how mockable people have become.

Don't clean your kids in the washing machine. Don't dry your cell phone in the microwave. And be sure not to read the phone book while driving. Those are among the winning entries in this year's Wacky Warning Label Contest, run by an anti-lawsuit group.

Backers of the right to sue have a warning of their own _ don't be so quick to poke fun at labels, which help save lives. They say the contest is part of an effort to pass laws that shield businesses from liability for those they hurt.

Look, if you're doing any of the things mentioned in the first paragraph, you're lucky if you can remember to breathe. To my mind, it's not the businesses that are hurting these idiots; they're hurting themselves.

The Wacky Warning contest winners were chosen from about 150 nominations received by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, said the group's president, Robert B. Dorigo Jones. The group picked five finalists, and callers to WOMC-FM's Dick Purtan show chose the winners.

The top vote-getter was a warning tag from a front-load washing machine.

"DO NOT put any person in this washer," it read.

If you're getting into a washing machine, or putting your drooling moron children into it, by all means, turn it on and help us all to thin the herd.

Besides, if people are dumb enough to do things like this, what are the odds they can read the warning labels, anyway?