Getting a TUI

Sure, the Ace of Spades Lifestyle™ is a lot of fun, but there are certain places where you just shouldn't practice it. Like at school, for instance. Especially if you're there to teach a class:

A substitute teacher suspected of being drunk in a suburban Dallas middle school class was too intoxicated to complete a sobriety test and was arrested, authorities said.

Thomas Brownlee, 56, was in a classroom Tuesday with students and another staff member for about 20 minutes, Richardson school district spokesman Tim Clark said. Another teacher suspected Brownlee was drunk and told a police officer at Parkhill Junior High.

A Dallas police report states that Brownlee "had slurred speech, breath smelling of an alcoholic beverage and bloodshot eyes."

The officer stopped issuing a sobriety test out of concern for Brownlee's safety, according to the report. Brownlee was charged with public intoxication.

Damn. You've got to be really, really trashed to have the police stop your sobriety test for fear that you're going to keel over and injure yourself.