Open sez me

So much of what I do around here is about ridiculing stupid people, and that's because I'm a mean bastard. And I'm okay with that. But once in a while, I see something somebody's done that's actually pretty cool, like this story about a locksmith who cracked a an old safe that had baffled a bunch of experts:

In 2 1/2 hours, Tom Gorham of Longview got the safe open by spinning the dial and feeling for grooves to get the combination, a technique called manipulation.

"You've got to have a lot of patience, and concentration doesn't hurt," Gorham said.

Gorham trekked to Astoria, a town about 40 miles west of Longview and 70 miles northwest of Portland, Ore., to try his luck with the 1-ton safe found during renovation at a cannery there. The cannery's owner, Floyd Holcomb, wanted it opened without damage.

Gorham and his wife, Kelly, also a locksmith, asked to try after watching a television report on unsuccessful attempts to open the safe. He said an expert from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology had tried, as did another professional locksmith who gave up after 14 hours.

The only disappointing aspect of the story is the fact that they're not saying what they found inside the 159-year-old safe until the owner tells the cannery's board next month. I'm guessing gold coins, jewels, and a bunch of nineteenth century pornography. That's just how my mind works, people.