I fart in your specific direction

While I wasn't aware that you could be charged with battery for something like this, I could've told the guy that it was probably a pretty bad idea:

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

The article goes on to say that he doesn't deny that he farted, but does deny that he farted at the cop. Man, I have a feeling that the judge who ends up hearing this case is going to have a tough time keeping a straight face.

Update: Battery charge dropped.