Hold it

They say that there's a time and place for everything, and as this dumbass found out, while you're being transported to jail in the back of a cop car is a very bad time and place to, well...

Police say Daniel L. Shilts, of 720 W. Second St., was pulled over about 2 a.m. in the City of Plymouth after the officer saw him drive in the parking lane and nearly strike the curb while making turns, according to a criminal complaint. The officer followed Shilts as he pulled into a gas station and struck a pole, then nearly backed into the squad car before coming to a stop.

Shilts was arrested after the officer smelled alcohol on his breath and Shilts failed field sobriety tests, the complaint said. While en route to the police station, Shilts urinated in the back seat of the squad car and also sprayed some urine through the center divider, striking the officer in the back of the head, the complaint said.

Aside from the DUI and the charge related to splashing the arresting officer with pee, he's also being charged with felony bail jumping counts from several unrelated felony cases. If he's convicted on all of the charges he's facing, he could end up doing more than fifteen years in prison.

Normally, I'd make some kind of joke here, but I think in this instance, I'll just call the guy an asshole and hope that he ends up going away for a long time.