Creative cooking

You know, I've never been to prison, and I hope I never end up going there. Why? Well, among other things (like getting raped in the shower, say), stuff like this:

An inmate hankering for hot sausage got in hot water when the cooking fire he set in his toilet forced the evacuation of a prison wing. Clallam Bay Corrections Center spokeswoman Denise Larson said smoke was spotted about 9:25 p.m. Wednesday coming from a sewer vent pipe. She says 130 inmates from the close-custody unit of the prison near the tip of Washington's Olympic Peninsula were evacuated to a dining hall while local firefighters and prison staff responded.

The smoke was traced to the inmate's cell, and he admitted trying to heat up snack sausage bought from an inmate store in the stainless steel toilet, Larson says.

See, staying out of prison has some definite advantages. Like, when I want some sausage, there's a microwave, or failing that, a stove and pans. Being "on the outside," in no way does my brain go from "Maybe I'll cook some delicious sausage" to "Yeah, I'll use the toilet." Well, not until some time later, anyway.