How to make a bad situation worse

Aside from a couple of traffic tickets, I've never been in trouble with the law. That said, I think I could handle things a little better than this guy did if the cops showed up at my house:

Officers came into contact with 64-year-old Dennis Fike at 11:30 p.m. while responding to a report of a loud party and violation of a protection order at his home at 911 5th Ave. S., Sgt. Ross Renner said.

“Sometime during that contact, Mr. Fike pulled his pants down, defecated on the floor, made a comment to the officers and, at which point, attempted to kick fecal matter at the officers who were present,” Renner said Monday.

Renner said Fike indicated to police that he had to go to the bathroom, but there weren’t enough officers present to allow him to do so, because they were still waiting for backup.

“So, he, uh, yeah,” he said.

I like to think of myself as someone who has a way with words (hey, shut up!) but I'm pretty sure I would describe an event like that in a similar fashion.

Uh, yeah.