There's more than one way to, um, well...

I'm a dog guy, and I'm not really partial to cats (which probably has more to do with the fact that I'm allergic than anything else) but I'd still like to kick this guy square in the nuts:

Buffalo police rescued a cat from a Cheektowaga man who apparently was planning to make a meal out of his pet because he thought it was ill-tempered, authorities said Monday.

When Ferry-Fillmore District officers pulled over a car driven by Gary L. Korkuc on Sunday night during a traffic stop, they said they heard a cat crying from inside the trunk and investigated.

What they found has left animal lovers at the SPCA Serving Erie County in shock.

The cat, according to police, was in a cage “marinating” in a mixture of crushed red peppers, chili pepper, salt and oil.

Now, I'm not a master chef or anything, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to marinate the animal you plan on cooking until after it's been slaughtered and skinned. Also, I've heard that the proper place to marinate your food is in a refrigerator or cooler, not the trunk or your car. Finally—and I can't possibly stress this enough—YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT YOUR PET CAT.

(All of these culinary tips, of course, are much more pertinent if you happen not to be batshit insane.)