Somewhere in Africa...

...a starving child goes, "Oh, what the hell, people--Can I just get some fucking rice?!!"

Move over funnel cakes and corn dogs, deep-fat fried Kool-Aid is here.

"Oh, the moment of truth," said Joe Cocoba, a 31-year-old nursing student before biting into the glistening brown dough ball with a pink fluffy interior. "I can taste it (the Kool-Aid)! It's good."

People who know me can attest that I'm far from a bleeding-heart liberal or an especially hardcore advocate for healthy eating (the former and the latter are pretty much even in terms of what doesn't define me), but when we've come to a place where we're deep frying fucking Kool-Aid, we're on the verge of Ancient Roman-style decadence.

Cocoba said biting into a kid's drink only made him want to try more of Chicken Charlie's other deep-fried offerings such as Klondike bars, Girl Scout cookies, Twinkies, avocados and the ultimate cholesterol-builder: A Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich. Yes, it's two deep-fried doughnuts with a chicken breast squashed between them.

Aw, fuck it. We're already there. Welcome, Visigoths!!!