Trapped!

I'm probably going to hell for making any jokes about this, but I was probably going to hell anyway, so who gives a shit?

An Illinois woman's lawsuit against Premier Care in Bathing claims she was trapped in one of the Florida company's tubs for more than 30 hours.

Anna Cullen, who lives in Western Illinois, filed a lawsuit Monday in Cook County Court alleging she fell and "became wedged in the tub," which she was using for only the second time Sept. 4, 2010, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Tuesday.

Okay. I'm not the most svelte guy in the male modeling division. I'm actually (no, ladies, don't scream otherwise!) kind of overweight. But I have a regular shower/tub that came with the house I live in. I didn't have it built so that I could get in and out of it if there was an accident where I slipped. Still, I doubt that I could possibly find myself "wedged" in the tub, barring some sort of horrible multi-fracture or paralysis-inducing accident.

What I'm getting is that this woman must be fat. No, MORBIDLY OBESE.

See, I'm kind of a fat guy (again, female fans, stop screaming "THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!")but if I fall down in the non-custom-built shower/bath that came with the house I live in, I will never be "wedged" into that space.

I guess that what I'm getting at here is that you should have paid for the Super Size Big Gulp Shower.