Drunken master

Everybody knows that I'm a fan of the hooch, but compared to this guy, I look like a regular Carrie Nation:

The 34-year-old [Stanley] Kobierowski was arrested after driving into a highway message board on Interstate 95. Authorities said he had the highest blood alcohol level ever recorded for anyone in Rhode Island who wasn't dead.

Police said Kobierowski registered a .489, then a .491, breathalyzer tests. The legal limit in Rhode Island is .08.

Wisely, he decided to plead no contest to drunk driving charges, taking a $500 fine, community service, and the loss of his license for a year. I don't think he had much of a case.

Kobierowski's liver was unavailable for comment.