Sack lunch

Looking for something new and different in the kitchen? A bold, new flavor? Well, there's a horrifying new cookbook coming out tomorrow that could give you some recipe ideas:

Squeamish men look away now: a Serbian chef is bringing out Thursday a no-holds-barred guide to cuisine with a twist: "The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls."

Hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection by e-book publishers YUDU, the cookbook includes author Ljubomir Erovic's favourite dishes, like testicle pizza, battered testicles and and barbecued testicles and giblets.

The e-book, available for download from the Internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Wow. That doesn't sound at all disturbing.

Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys, get the Erovic treatment.

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.

Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field.

Gee, his mom and dad must be so proud!

"The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites," he said.

"All testicles can be eaten -- except human, of course."

If you were expecting some kind of dirty joke here, well, normally, you'd be right. But I'm kind of tired right now, and I don't feel like putting in the effort. That, and all I could think of was something about "The San Francisco Treat," and I just don't need a hate crime charge right now.