Next time, try buying a flashy car

The Lord (and anybody who is a personal acquaintance) knows that I'm not good with the ladies, but even I don't see this being a winning strategy for picking up women:

A suburban Chicago man thought he had the perfect chick magnet in his pet alligator. Authorities only saw a dangerous animal.

A charge of possession of a dangerous animal has been filed against 43-year-old Dewayne Yarbrough of Ford Heights, who claims he kept the four-foot alligator to impress women.

Seriously, "You wanna go back to my place and have a look at my alligator?" seems like one of the worst pickup lines you could ever possibly use.