The big kiss-off

The Oregon Court of Appeals is probably going to catch hell for this from opponents of three strikes laws:

It may have been a borderline call, but it was still a third strike. The Oregon Court of Appeals on Wednesday upheld a ruling that sent Nicholas Meyrovich to life in prison under a 2001 three-strikes law. Meyrovich got his third strike, a felony sex offense, for delivering an unwanted kiss.

[...]

Meyrovich, 60, an exterminator, was inspecting the home of a Salem woman in October 2003 when he suddenly grabbed her and kissed her. The woman pushed Meyrovich away, but he took hold of her again and sucked her on the neck, stopping when a neighbor walked in.

Meyrovich was later convicted of first-degree sexual abuse, which under Oregon law requires the forcible touching of the "sexual or other intimate parts" of another person.

He argued that the neck isn't an "intimate part" of the body, but the court disagreed with him, citing the fact (and I'm paraphrasing here) that one adult doesn't generally touch another's neck like that during the normal course of business.

He also argued that the sentence "violated the Oregon Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment." And hey, he engaged in a little unwanted kissing and neck-sucking, but is that really grounds for putting a guy away for life? Well...

The court also disagreed that the sentence was cruel and unusual, noting that the three-strikes law was not aimed at the gravity of a particular crime but at habitual offenders. [Judge David] Schuman wrote that Meyrovich had been convicted of nine prior sex offenses before the kiss. [emphasis mine]

Yeah. Cry me a river, then, suck-boy. It's probably a good thing that neighbor walked in when he or she did; otherwise I wouldn't be able to write this snarky blog post about the case, if you know what I mean.