Adios, amigo

The guy who has played Juan Valdez, the advertising icon of the Colombian National Federation of Coffee Growers, is retiring in July after portraying the character for 37 years. Do you think you have what it takes to replace him?

"The first thing is that we need someone with a thick mustache, who can sport a poncho and who's not afraid of donkeys," said Gabriel Silva, the president of the official body. "But it's not just that. We need someone authentic, proud of what he is doing and modest."

Now, I've never tried on a poncho, so I'm not sure if I could "sport" one, but otherwise that sounds just like me. Except for the mustache.

And now that I think about it, while I'm not "afraid" of donkeys, per se, I'm not really what you'd call a fan.