Porno makes him hot

You know, if you feel guilty about what you did at the porno store, you should just do what everyone else does (so I'm told)—cast your eyes downward and try to leave without making eye contact with anybody. You probably don't want to do what this guy did.

Miami-Dade police are searching for the man who was caught on tape starting a fire inside an adult bookstore in Miami.

It happened Saturday, Aug. 12, at about 3:20 a.m. inside the store on Southwest 40th Street.

Police said a man went inside the bookstore and asked the clerk for change for the video machines. The man then went into a video booth.

"The guy came in like a regular customer," said store manager Theresa Jelley.

Police said a few minutes later, the man came out of the booth and told the clerk, "I have a guilty conscience. I'm going to set the place on fire."

"It came out of nowhere. He told the clerk that he felt guilty and then he walked to the booth, opened it up and threw gasoline on the floor and lit a lighter," Jelley said.

Surveillance video inside the store showed that the man pulled out a plastic bottle filled with a liquid and poured the liquid on the ground in the video area. He then ignited the liquid, causing a large fire.

The manager says that nobody recognized him, and that most of the store's customers are "regulars." The real tragedy here is that those people are going to have to find somewhere else for their...self gratification.

(Or, I suppose, they could just use the internets. I hear those tubes are just stuffed full of the naughty stuff. Yep, that's what I hear.)