Meaty monstrosity

Are you feeling hungry? And I don't just mean a little peckish, I mean really hungry? If so, you might want to head to Clearview, Pennsylvania:

The newest addition to the menu at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub is one whopper of a burger. The Beer Barrel Main Event Charity Burger weighs in at 123 pounds, a meaty monstrosity that its cooks maintain shatters the world record of 105 pounds shared by two restaurants in New Jersey and Thailand.

The sizable sandwich features an 80-pound beef patty, along with a pound each of lettuce, ketchup, relish, mustard and mayonnaise, 160 slices of cheese, up to five onions and 12 tomatoes.

It's topped with a couple of pounds of banana peppers, then sandwiched into a 30-pound bun. Don't forget the garnish of 33 pickles.

According to the article, the burger will set you back a cool $379. But you'd better hurry, because Michael Moore can easily afford that!

(Yeah, yeah, so I made a joke about Michael Moore's weight. It's not like I'm getting paid to come up with original material, you ungrateful bastards.)