Friday, March 02, 2007

Big mama

I know I'm going to burn in hell for some of the stuff I joke about here. But probably none moreso than the following:
April Branum went to her local emergency room Monday night complaining of stomach pain and emerged with the biggest shock of her life. She was pregnant with a full-term fetus.

Doctors, who discovered the baby when they took X-rays of her abdominal area, immediately sent Branum to UCI Medical Center in Orange for prenatal testing.

The fetus's lungs were fully developed, the heartbeat was strong, and no defects were detected. The baby was ready to be delivered.

Two days later, the first-time mother gave birth by C-section to a healthy, 7-pound, 7-ounce boy named Walter Scott Edwards III.
And why, gentle reader, didn't Branum know shw was pregnant? Read on to find the answer...
"Usually you can tell if you're pregnant, but with me, I couldn't tell," the 39-year-old Garden Grove resident said Thursday, pointing to her belly and explaining that, at about 420 pounds, she was so large that no one – including herself – could tell she had carried a baby to term.

Branum says she never had morning sickness and did not feel the baby kick, at least not until after doctors told her what was inside her womb. "If he kicked, I didn't feel him kicking," she said.

The layers of fat padding her belly likely insulated the baby's movements, said her physician, Dr. Afshan Hameed. [emphasis mine]
Gah!

Take a guess what the first thing that came to mind when I read that was. That's right. I thought, "Someone had sex with her?" I'm a bad person like that.

But, as the article notes, she has a fiancee (after whom the baby is named), so I guess there really is someone out there for everyone.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go try to drink enough to try to forget I ever read about this.

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