Don't you people knock??!

Huh. I guess I really don't know what to say about this:

A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike.

Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel.

Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr.

The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees.

Not that I really want to know, but how exactly does one go about doing such a thing? I've owned several bicycles over the years, and I can't think of anywhere on any of them that seemed...inviting.

(Via Fark.)