Dim bulb causes bulbs to dim

Apparently, since the Chinese have been buying large quantities of the metal, copper wire is a hot target for thieves. In this case, the wire was very, very hot:

Police in central England are hunting for a badly scorched would-be copper power cable thief after finding a hacksaw embedded in an 11,000 volt power cable Saturday night.

The thief, who also left a lit blow torch at the scene, is expected to be badly charred, spiky haired and not exactly the brightest bulb in the socket.

"The sheer stupidity of cutting through power cables should be glaringly obvious to everyone," said Phil Wilson, customer operations manager with local power company Central Networks.

"At the very least putting the hacksaw through the cable would have created an almighty bang and the line would have burned for quite a few seconds, showering them with molten copper... We can only assume they left in a great hurry or they were injured and were dragged away by an accomplice." But searches of local hospitals have so far not found the culprit, a spokeswoman for Derbyshire Police said Tuesday.

Right about now, I'm sure you're expecting me to make a joke about how it was a "shocking experience" for the thief, but that's a joke a hack would write and a moron would giggle at. You and I both know that we're better than that. Shame on you.*

*In other words, no, I can't think of a way to end this without using that stupid pun. God, I suck.