Double your jail time

I can understand why people steal valuable things like jewelery or electronics or high-end clothing from stores, but gum?

A New York man will serve four months in jail after pleading guilty to grand larceny charges related to the theft of 54 packs of bubble gum, a judge says.

Judge Robert Raciti of Queens Criminal Court handed down the sentence to William Rouse, 47, who was allegedly seen on a surveillance camera attempting to steal the bubble gum from an area Kmart last week, the New York Post said Monday.

Sources said before Rouse could leave the scene of the crime with his chewable booty, a security guard stopped him and allegedly found the bubble gum in a bag Rouse was carrying.

Leaving aside the humorous phrase "chewable booty," this isn't the first time he's done this. Earlier this year, he tried to steal 25 packs of gum from another store. Nine out of ten dentists who would recommend chewing gum to their patients agree* that he's got an unhealthy obsession with stealing gum.

*What, like you could come up with a better joke about gum?