Bottomless stupidity

Pantsless, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through Delaware:

A spokesman for Maryland's Cecil County Sheriff's Office says 41-year-old Jonathan Schultz "was driving commando" and only partially covered with a towel on his lap, though he was wearing a shirt.

Lt. Bernard Chiominto says Schultz was stopped Saturday near Rising Sun for going 69 mph in a 50-mph zone.

Chiominto says the deputy smelled alcohol and noticed Schultz's semi-exposed situation. The Newark, Del., man told the deputy he'd lost his pants, and the deputy didn't find any in the car.

Well, that stands to reason. After all, he said he lost his pants and he was in the car. Isn't that the first place where he would have looked for them?

(Okay, that was pretty weak, but I don't get paid to write these jokes.)