Excuses, excuses

I don't tend to break into peoples' cars and steal their stuff, but if I did, I'd like to think that I could come up with a better dodge than this:

Salem police Lt. Conrad Prosniewski said that when the patrolmen caught up with Conway on Palmer Street and asked him what was in the bag, he responded by claiming they were his former wife's sex toys.

"The officers weren't buying it and took a look inside," the article mentions, which is hardly surprising.

I like this, too...

Defense lawyer Joyce Motta says her client "was just walking down the street" when the officers approached him for no reason.

Conway interrupted his lawyer, asking the judge to send him to a drug treatment program rather than jail.

"I've got a screaming drug habit," Conway told Salem District Court Judge Richard Mori.

Pipe down, man! I hear that some people are able to smuggle drugs into jail these days.