It's good to have goals

Well, usually it is...

A New Jersey woman is waging a campaign to become the world's heaviest living woman, admitting that she is as hungry for attention as she is for calorie-rich food.

Donna Simpson, 42, weighs more than 600 pounds (272 kg) and aims to reach 1,000 pounds (455 kg).

The mother of two children, ages 3 and 14, models on a website called supersizedbombshells.com, where admirers and the curious can pay to watch videos of her eating greasy foods or walking to the car.

Were this a more lowbrow type of blog, this is where I'd make a joke expressing surprise that she'd had sex at least twice, but instead, I think I'll express my condolences to her basically-already-orphaned children.