Oh, hell no

Hey, what do you know--I'm actually still alive! I've been a little busy over the past few months and, quite honestly, I haven't really seen anything that's piqued my interest enough to write any lame jokes. That is, until I saw this:

The city of Irwindale is apparently not among the legions of fans of the wildly popular Sriracha hot sauce — or, at least how the chili sauce smells.

The city has filed a public nuisance complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court against the makers of Sriracha, demanding the company halt operations at its processing plant until it stops creating odors that have generated complaints by residents.

The complaint filed against Huy Fong Foods Inc., which lists Sriracha as one of its most popular products on its website, seeks temporary, preliminary and permanent injunctions “enjoining all operations on … the subject property until (Huy) abates the public nuisance herein by preventing and causing the emanation of the strong, offensive chili odor.”

Most of you may not understand how much anxiety this is causing me. Let me put it like this--when I heard the news, I was actually wearing this shirt:

I put this stuff on damn near everything. After any given meal, I actually have a measurable blood Sriracha content. I will go into physical withdrawal should my supply of the stuff get cut off.

Now, if there actually is some kind of problem involving the manufacture of this wonderful, magical elixir, I'm sure there's some way that this can be solved to everyone's satisfaction. Like, and I'm just spitballing here, maybe all of the crybabies who are bellyaching about this could move to a different city and let the good people at Huy Fong Foods continue doing God's work. Yes, I think that's probably for the best.