Music for the masses

I can't remember where I found a link to this, but I'm pretty certain someone mentioned it recently on a blog. Anyway, it's a pretty cool "interactive" internet radio site that I've been using for the last few days. You give it the name of a song or artist that you like, and it finds other stuff that may also be to your liking. You can rate what it brings up with a thumbs up or down, which supposedly helps the service to fine-tune the music it picks for you. It's free to sign up and commercial-free, too.

Update: Now I remember. It was SeeDubya over at JunkYardBlog.

Believe it or not

The following passage is not the craziest part of this article:

Of course the government can look at your bank account, at any bank account. What's the point of being the government if you can't pry? This administration has said over and over again that it sees nothing wrong with prying. So where's the treason? Where's the disgrace? Do we really believe that the terrorists are reading the New York Times for clues on what to do, or not do, next?

Well, given the way the Times has been behaving lately, they'd be crazy not to read it, so, yeah. Dumbass.

Read the whole thing, which includes the notion that the President is railing against the NYT because his base voters hate Jews. No, really.

(Via Allahpundit over at Hot Air)

Some advice for Democrats

Not that I really hope they'll take it, but it would be nice (as many others have pointed out) to have a healthy opposition party here in the U.S. of A. That said, you guys are never, ever going to win another national election until you do something to get rid of this kind of bad craziness within your ranks. Seriously.

The rarest of mythical beasts

I got my hair cut today. By a guy. A straight guy.

I know. It's like living in Bizarroworld. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Just because you can cook something...

...doesn't mean you should.

Twinkies, they're not just for dessert anymore. The new "Twinkies Cookbook" has recipes for everything from a Twinkie Burrito to Twinkie Lasagna.

I think I'll stick to good-old lasagna-flavored lasagna, thank you very much.

The new Puritans

Some people just can't help being fun-hating killjoys. It seems we've got a few right here in Los Angeles, which doesn't exactly have a reputation for prudery. Are they religious fundies? Nope, they're actually on the other side of the political sprctrum.

Several city officials on Tuesday sharply criticized a planned bikini contest to raise money for spaying pets, saying the "Hooters for Neuters" event was degrading to women.

Hosted by the Hooters restaurant chain, the July 13 fundraiser will donate money to the spay and neuter programs at Los Angeles Animal Services.

"Are we going backward here?" said City Controller Laura Chick. "We are a city with all kinds of progressive programs that empower women and end discrimination in the workplace, and now we're being connected with a Hooters bikini contest. It isn't right."

Councilwoman Jan Perry said the department's attempt to be creative in telling pet owners to sterilize their animals "crosses the line."

"I was surprised and amazed with the photograph on the flier, and I don't think it projects a good image for the city of Los Angeles," Perry said.

Sigh. I'm guessing that none of the women who will be in the bikini contest are being forced to participate. Oh, and a bikini contest "crosses the line," but the kind of beefcake on display at the L.A. Gay Pride Parade? I doubt Perry would utter a peep about that. [That link is somewhat NSFW, by the way.]

And this is going to raise money for animal shelters. They should be glad that people want to get involved, even if it's Hooters.

Thankfully, the article says the fundraiser is going forward as planned.

Out of the frying pan...

See, when you do something like this to distract people from your problems, you just make things worse.

A Japanese boy burned down his home, killing his stepmother and two younger siblings, for fear his parents would find out he had lied about his score on an English test.

Yep. I think he's going to be in slightly more trouble for that.

Miles to go before I roll out of my iron bed

Well, I guess you could call this a good start. But that's it.

Health officials said Manuel Uribe weighed 1,235 pounds when he made a desperate plea for help on national television in January.

Unable to leave his bed for five years, the 41-year-old mechanic in the northern industrial city of Monterrey longed to move again.

His plea was answered by doctors and nutritionists who prescribed a high-protein diet, helping him lose about 200 pounds since then.

I mean, I don't really want to belittle the guy's achievement, but he's still got quite a way to go. Because, in the scheme of things, when you weigh more than 1,200 pounds, losing a couple hundred is sort of a drop in the bucket.

No Nudes

So, this Taiwanese environmental group is planning to stage a nude protest to try and stop the government from building a nuclear plant. Nude protest, huh? Sounds interesting, but there's a wrinkle.

The protest, titled "Rather Nude than Nuke," is set to take place Monday at Funlung beach in northern Keelung county where the plant is under construction.

Ho [Tsung-hsun, secretary general of the Taiwan Enviromental Protection Union] said 25 people, including 22 men and three women, had signed up for the event to form the English words "No Nuke" with their bodies. [my emphasis]

Why is it that there are always more dudes than chicks who want to get nekkid in public? And I bet the women aren't even going to be attractive. It's been my experience that the people who attend nude protests are usually the ones you'd least like to see in the buff.

Those last two links are Not Safe For Work. Come to think of it, they're Not Safe For Anywhere.

Faulty hydraulics

Damn. Just, daaaaaamn.

A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if his grandchildren, among others, are uncomfortable being around him, too.

"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Allessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."

He's more machine than man. That, and it can't be easy for him to pee.

Old, deadly news

If, like me, you've lived in Southern California for any substantial length of time, this is going to sound awfully familar.

New earthquake research confirms the southern end of the San Andreas fault near Los Angeles is overdue for a Big One.

The lower section of the fault has not produced a major earthquake in more than three centuries. The new study, which analyzed 20 years of data and is considered one of the most detailed analyses yet, found that stress has been building up since then, and that the fault could rupture at any moment.

"The southern section of the fault is fully loaded for the next big event," said geophysicist Yuri Fialko of the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla.

Predicting exactly when that might happen, however, is beyond scientists' ability.

Really? Scientists can't predict earthquakes? Who knew?

Anyway, yawn. Seriously, we've only been hearing this exact same story since I was in grade school. In other words, for more than twenty years now.

I'm not saying that I want there to be a massive earthquake, but seriously, we've been waiting for "the big one" since I can remember, and every time we have a substantial quake, the seismologists hurry onto the teevee and tell us, "Nope, that one wasn't it." After a while, you just wish God would hurry up and kill us all already.

A violent, dangerous quagmire

When stuff like this is going on, I think it's time that we admit that invading Iraq and deposing Saddam Hussein was a costly, bloody mistake, and we should cut and run sorry, redeploy our troops as soon as possible.

...[A]uthorities discovered the decapitated bodies of three police officers and another man Wednesday near an empty lot...

The officers had gone missing Tuesday after responding to a report of a kidnapping. Witnesses said they were intercepted by about 100 heavily armed, masked men...

The men's bodies showed signs of being tortured. Their heads were found several miles away...

Except that this happened in Rosarito, Mexico, a mere 15 miles across the border from San Diego. I guess this means we ought to pull our National Guard troops off the border. Or something.

Soccer menace claims more lives

What was I just saying the other day about what a menace to public health soccer is? Did anybody listen? No, and now more people are dead.

Over-excitement during World Cup games has been blamed for the deaths of at least three fans in China and one man broke several bones when he fell from a Hong Kong balcony, the Shanghai Daily reported on Wednesday.

The rash of disasters had prompted doctors to urge fans to monitor their moods during games and keep an eye on their drinking and blood pressure, it said.

China is obsessed with football but is six hours ahead of Germany, meaning many of the games are shown late at night or in the early hours of the morning -- peak drinking times.

A young man named Wang, watching a game on June 10 at a bar in Changsha, the capital of southern Hunan province, drank too much and died at four the following morning, the newspaper said.

Four days later, a woman surnamed Wei, who suffered from high blood pressure, was watching South Korea vs Togo in Hangzhou, near Shanghai.

"She took a shower, went to bed and later died," the newspaper said.

The same day, Li Zhenbao, 27, died in his sleep in Hong Kong after staying up all night to watch three games in a row.

"Doctors suspected he died of a heart attack brought on by over-excitement," the newspaper said.

How many more people need to die before they shut this damned thing down so that people can channel their energy into less lethal sporting events? I mean, you never hear of anyone dying because of the World Series. At least not since the last time the Oakland A's were in it.

Network seeks Manbearpig sightings

Dear ABC News,
Well, I was born and raised here in Southern California, so it's always been pretty hot around here, but I have noticed that I get a little more sleepy after eating a big lunch these days. Yeah. Well, that's about it.

love and kisses,
Sean M.

Via Ace, who relates a global warming horror story of his own.

Make it stop

I've got that stupid, sappy old song "More Than Words" stuck in my head.

It's a good thing nobody around here knits, because I'd be awfully tempted to jab a needle into my brain.

Important government business

It's a good thing the Massachusetts State Senate is on top of the most pressing issues of the day.

It's creamy, it's sweet and it's become a staple of lunch boxes for generations of New England school children.

Now, the beloved Fluffernutter sandwich _ the irresistible combination of Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter, preferably on white bread with a glass of milk handy _ finds itself at the center of a sticky political debate.

Sen. Jarrett Barrios was outraged that his son Nathaniel, a third-grader, was given a Fluffernutter sandwich at the King Open School in Cambridge. He said he plans to file legislation that would ban schools from offering the local delicacy more than once a week as the main meal of the day.

The Democrat said that his amendment to a bill on junk food in schools may seem "a little silly"_ but that school nutrition is [serious].

I can't imagine why people might think it's "a little silly" for a grown man to be "outraged" that a little boy was served a fluffernutter sandwich.

You'll be comforted to know that the response to Barrios' bill haws been much more measured and serious. Oh, wait...

His proposal seemed anything but silly to Rep. Kathi-Anne Reinstein, a Democrat whose district in Revere is near the company that has produced the marshmallow concoction for more than 80 years, Durkee-Mower Inc.

She responded with a proposal to designate the Fluffernutter the"official sandwich of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."

"I'm going to fight to the death for Fluff,"Reinstein said.

I can just picture the distinguished Rep. expiring upon a pile of the corpses of Fluff foes, gasping out, "They can take our lives, but they can never take away our...Fluff!"

Soccer kills

I say the time has long passed to ban this dangerous menace to our health.

World Cup soccer causes joy and despair and even ends marriages but now doctors are studying whether the thrill of it all can be literally heart stopping.

Previous research during international soccer tournaments has found an increase in the general incidence of heart attacks, particularly on days when tense matches have had fans on the edge of their seats.

I could have sworn that people were being bored to death by the stupid, pointless beautiful game, but I guess that's just me. Who knew that a 1-1 tie could be so thrilling?

Congratulations...

...to frequent commenter and good buddy Andy's sister Liz and her husband Mike, who had a lovely baby girl on Saturday. Click over to see pictures of the little tyke.

Lando Calrissian Updated

There's a new and improved version of the Lando video I linked to the other day. You can watch it there, or just click on the box below if you're a lazy bastard like me.

(Thanks to Jim Treacher whose funny can also be found here.)

Weird tales of the Sitemeter

Oh, great. I was looking over my referrals and found this one from Google Japan. For some reason, my blog comes up as a hit on a search for a gay porn website. Super.

Anyway, welcome, Japanese gay dudes. Have a look around. Feel free to leave comments.

Eat the whales

I thought I was all badass for having tried alligator meat (which is delicious) on a trip to New Orleans a few years back. Then I read about this.

To woo young customers more fond of burgers than traditional whale cuisine, a Japanese restaurant has come up with a new taste sensation: the fried whaleburger.

The sandwich, which features fried whale meat nestled in a bun with salad greens and lashings of mayonnaise and ketchup-based sauce, is the creation of a small whale restaurant in the town of Wada, about 100 km (62 miles) southeast of Tokyo.

"Young people think whale and bread really go together well, so the burgers are quite popular," said restaurant owner Akiji Ichihara.

The restaurant also sells a whale cutlet sammich and a whale...hot dog. They're all apparently selling well, though the article doesn't say what the whale meat tastes like. I'm guessing chicken.

On an interesting side note, look at which section of the Reuters website this article is posted in--"World Crises." There's no mention anywhere in the article of a crisis of any sort. A sly editorial comment on the practice of eating whale meat, perhaps?

We all scream for...

What do you like on your ice cream? Me, I like some chocolate syrup, maybe a cherry on top, and I usually skip the nuts. I definitely don't put this on my ice cream, though.

Oscar Martinez, 41, of Richmond [Texas], had been pulled over by police officer David Bentley late Sunday after he failed to stop at a pedestrian crossing on the campus of Wharton County Junior College.

Bentley discovered that Martinez had a suspended driver's license and an outstanding traffic warrant.

Richmond police spokesman Sgt. Lowell Neinast said Martinez told Bentley that he wished he could finish the banana split he had in his car.

When Bentley saw the melting banana split on the front floorboard of Martinez's car, he noticed that it was topped with a square-shaped object that turned out to be crack cocaine.

"One of the crack rocks was sitting right on top of the bananas," Neinast told the Fort Bend Herald-Coaster. "Once he found the first crack rock, he figured there were more inside. He emptied it out and there it was."

Of course there was more crack. There's always more crack.

Anyway, it's probably a good thing that he didn't eat the crack-filled banana split since, according to this, "Ingesting cocaine can cause severe bowel gangrene due to reduced blood flow." That doesn't sound especially pleasant.

No Hitler memorial after all

Awwww. Too bad, so sad.

A retired farmer who claims he was a Nazi SS officer has agreed not to publicly open a memorial he built to Hitler in southeastern Wisconsin, county officials say.

Ted Junker, 87, had planned a grand opening for his shrine June 25 on his farm near Millard, about 50 miles southeast of Madison. Word of the opening generated a crush of publicity.

But Walworth County officials met with Junker on Thursday morning and persuaded him to keep the shrine closed, said Mike Cotter, county deputy corporation counsel.

Cotter said county officials had struggled with how to classify the shrine for zoning purposes. They decided Thursday to consider it an assembly hall or museum. As such, Junker would need permits from the county to operate, Cotter said he told Junker.

Junker is quoted in the article as saying that he'll still allow private parties to visit his sick little shrine, so buck up there, skinheads.

Oh, and like the article I quoted in yesterday's post on this subject, the AP reporter who wrote this story made a mistake about Junker's service with the Waffen-SS.

Junker told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel he volunteered to join the German Waffen-SS, Hitler's feared special police, in 1940 and served in Russia.

Um, that "special police" force would be the Gestapo, which was administered by the SS, but was not the same as the Waffen-SS, which Junker says he served with. You could look this stuff up, you know.

Imagine what would've happened if they'd lost

Well now, this is hardly surprising at all, is it?

Emergency calls to the ambulance service soared after England's first World Cup match as drunken fans fought in pubs and streets across the country, the Ambulance Service Association (ASA) said on Thursday.

Injuries treated by paramedics after the 1-0 defeat of Paraguay on Saturday included assaults with fists and weapons such as broken bottles, excessive drinking and drunken fans falling and hurting themselves.

This is what soccer fans do. They drink way too much, brawl in the pubs, run amok out in the streets, and get gay for each other.

Springtime for Hitler

Life imitates Mel Brooks, but this time people aren't exactly laughing.

MILLARD, Wis. - A retired farmer who says he served in the German army in World War II is turning part of his land into a battleground of sorts with his memorial to a leader he claims is misunderstood, Adolf Hitler.

Ted Junker, 87, plans a grand opening June 25 and says his goal is to clear up inaccuracies about the war and Hitler's role in it.

In other words, he doesn't accept that Hitler was to blame for starting the war in which 50 million people died, including some 6 million Jewish victims of the Holocaust.

"I like the U.S. I can't understand why people don't know the truth. This is for understanding, not hate," Junker said.

Needless to say, the Milwaukee Jewish Council for Community Relations is not amused. I can't say I blame them. But the guy is really just some old Nazi crank remembering the bad old days. The article quotes a history professor from Marquette, who sums the whole thing up pretty well.

"I'm sure he looks back and wants to say that he was not serving a super evil man, the most evil man in (the 20th century)," [Rev. John] Donnelly said. "He's looking for some kind of personal sense of redemption, and I don't think he can be taken seriously at all."

The shame of it is, he'll probably attract a bunch of skinheads and other racist kooks who'll enjoy the memorial and his war stories. I bet his neighbors are just going to love that crowd.

Update: This wasn't in the original article, which said Junker "served in the German army." Actually, he didn't serve in the army. If the Hot Air link is correct, he served in the Waffen SS, which was separate from the German army and was fanatically devoted to Hitler himself. That explains a few things.

Beer: the miracle drug

Like the man once said, alcohol is "the cause of and solution to all life's problems." Well, the solution to prostate cancer, maybe.

For many men, a finding by Oregon researchers sounds too good to be true: an ingredient in beer seems to help prevent prostate cancer, at least in lab experiments. The trouble is you'd theoretically have to drink about 17 beers a day for any potential benefit. And no one's advising that.

I am. I am advising you to drink seventeen beers a day. For your health.

You're welcome.

Courthouse lawn bogarted

Man, some people just can't help but ruin a good time for everybody else.

After reporters pointed out that wild marijuana, commonly called ditch weed, was growing on the lawn at the federal courthouse in Sioux Falls, the greenery was eliminated.

City officials and a developer said seeds in dirt brought in for construction must have sprouted.

So, where did the dirt come from? And how come nobody at the courthouse noticed the stuff was growing there? Or...did they?

Lando Calrissian in a whole new light

The guy who made this hilarious video obviously spent a lot of time on it. Worth it for the eyebrows alone.

(via the jaypinkerton.com forums, where I've seen a lot of funny shit lately)

English is racist

Sweet, Fancy Moses, this is utterly ridiculous.

A sign in a landmark Philadelphia restaurant asking customers to order in English is sparking controversy in the metropolis known as the "City of Brotherly Love."

The owner of Geno's Steaks said on Thursday that the sign, "This is America -- when ordering speak English," is intended to encourage immigrants to learn the language and assimilate into U.S. society, but one Latino activist said it's racist.

Uh, you want to tell me exactly how asking people to speak the common language of the country they're in is racist? I mean, people are always complaining about they stereotype of the "ugly American," traveling abroad, bellowing in English--is that racist, too?

"They should be glad that I put the sign up. I'm trying to help them to speak English," said Joey Vento, 66, whose grandparents moved to the United States from Italy. "Without the English language, they are going to have a lot of problems in this country.

"There is nobody who can say they are turned down because of the language," he added. "They can point if they want to."

Holy shit! That kind of talk is so racist that he might as well put on a Klan hood and burn a cross outside his restaurant. Oh, and I might emphasize that last part--it's his restaurant. Private property where he can do as he damn well pleases.

Roberto Santiago, executive director of Philadelphia's Council of Spanish Speaking Organizations, said he was "appalled" by the policy.

"I think what's coming out of his mouth is racist," said Santiago. "He is saying, 'I don't like these brown faces in my community and I will do everything I can to get them out of there.'"

Um, actually, I'm pretty sure he's saying "This is America -- when ordering speak English." He didn't even post a sign asking people specifically not to speak Spanish, and I'm sure Philadelphia is home to immigrants who speak a whole host of other languages as well. It seems to me that Mr. Santiago is reading an awful lot into that sign.

They'll show anything on the teevee these days

I was worried when I saw the following headline:

Public To See Alleged R. Kelly Sex Tape

Good God, I thought, are they going to make everybody watch R. Kelly (allegedly) pissing on that poor girl? That's just friggin' awful!

But on closer inspection of the article, it appears that the "public" just refers to people in the courtroom. Looks like America dodged a bullet.

No news is good news

Well, that seems to be the case for certain people of, let us say, one particular political bent. And in this case, I'm not even talking about some moonbat protester or unwashed hippie, either.

Some Democrats, breaking ranks from their leadership, today said the death of terrorist leader Abu Musab Zarqawi in Iraq was a stunt to divert attention from an unpopular and hopeless war.

"This is just to cover Bush's [rear] so he doesn't have to answer" for Iraqi civilians being killed by the U.S. military and his own sagging poll numbers, said Rep. Pete Stark, California Democrat. "Iraq is still a mess -- get out."

Yeah. It's not at all because Zarqawi was a murderous sonofabitch who we'd been trying to kill or capture for several years. It's all a conspiracy orchestrated by the eeeeeevil Rethuglicans to distract the sheeple.

I wonder, do they let you wear a tinfoil hat on the floor of the House?

(via protein wisdom commenter tim maguire)

Zarqawi croaks

I'm a positive kind of guy, so I don't look at the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi as the loss of a vicious, bloodthirsty, murderous terrorist scumbag. Nope, I see it as Yasser Arafat gaining a roommate.

And on a day like today, this familiar, profanity-laden song seems particularly appropriate.

On the other hand, with the "nutroots family reunion" starting today, one can't help but question the timing.™

There are no so stupid questions

I listen to a lot of talk radio, and I admire the job that the hosts do because it's got to be difficult to come up with things to say for two or three hours at a time. That said, what the hell were these people thinking?

Hosts of a chat show on a Hong Kong radio station apologized Tuesday for an Internet survey asking its listeners to vote which actress they would most like to sexually assault.

The Commercial Radio poll drew widespread criticism last week, with teachers, legislators and ordinary citizens slamming it for advocating violence against women and for corrupting youth.

Why phrase it that way? They could have just asked which actresses people would like to have sex with, and while they might have drawn criticism for "corrupting youth" with a question like that, they probably wouldn't be facing criticism for baiting would-be rapists. Dumbasses.

Your source for international urinal news

Are you some kind of pervert who enjoys peeing into saxophones or other, more disturbing kinds of...openings? Well, Kuala Lampur is apparently angling for your tourist dollars.

Malaysia's largest city is planning to add a whimsical touch when its revamps its notoriously nasty public urinals.

According to a report in the New Straits Times, some of the possible urinal designs include ones in the shape of musical instruments and others with an open mouth replete with painted red lips and a pink tongue. Another design features a clown's mouth.

*Shudder*. They apparently have such horrifying public toilets in Malaysia that a "National Toilet Summit is planned for August at which Malaysians will be taught toilet etiquette and how to establish a clean toilet culture." I don't think I've ever heard of an entire nation simultaneously going through potty training before.

In much less disturbing news, travelers in Sweden will get to take a leak in a lovely meadow.

Travelers hearing nature's call at Stockholm's Arlanda airport may think they have ended up in a summer meadow _ figuratively speaking.

The airport's newly designed lavatories, which are to open mid-June in Terminal 5, combine pleasant flowery glass art with an improved solution for getting rid of foul odors, Arlanda's designer manager Karin Elfver Renstrom said Wednesday

The men's lavatories will have glass artwork portraying a flower-filled Swedish meadow around and above the men's urinals, with a view through a glass facade onto the tarmac below.

What, no clown mouths or oboes? Say goodbye to all that sweet, sweet pervert cash.

"Killed his Sensei in a duel and he never said why"

Everybody else is linking to this video about the Father of our Country, which makes that SNL "Lazy Sunday" rap look like the 21st century equivalent of "Ice Ice Baby," so I figured I'd get in on the act. I mean, if all my friends were jumping off a bridge, I guess I would, too. Because all my friends would be dead, and how depressing would that be?

Be forewarned: salty language if you click on them links.

Update from nearly a year later: The video can be found here for now.

Thank you

Lost in all of the nonsense about this being 6/6/06 (oooh, scary!) is the fact that 62 years ago today, thousands of brave men stormed the beaches of Normandy. They changed the world forever.

Update: I meant to post a link to Milblogger Blackfive's great roundup of D-Day posts earlier, but I had to go to a meeting.

Via Jeff Goldstein, who has some more links and thoughts of his own on the subject.

You can't beat real-life experience

A bunch of Florida high school students made an...interesting discovery during a summer school class exercise yesterday morning.

The group of students from St. Thomas Aquinas High School was searching mock crime scenes as part of the summer school forensics class. A real life CSI class in training that happened to stumble on a real life crime scene.

The teacher, Sue Messenger, had planted fake evidence and fake paper skeletons in the park as part of the class. When one of her students discovered a man's hand clutching a chain-link fence, he thought it was planted by his teacher.

They eventually realized it wasn't fake and called police who sent out homicide investigators to the scene.

The authorities think it was probably a homeless guy who died at the park. There was no word as to whether or not David Caruso showed up at the scene to snap his sunglasses on and off.

GUHHHHN FINGAS!

This is pretty old, but it's still funny. Especially Willem DaFoe saying, "Ha ha ha! GUHHHHN FINGAS!" Look around Pinkerton's site, there's plenty of funny there, especially if you're a nerd like me.

Related.

Time for that killing spree

My neighbor's teenage kids are singing karaoke. Well, they're not so much singing as tunelessly screaming the lyrics of various vapid pop songs into a microphone. Ugh.

Update: The little bastards had the decency to quit before midnight without the cops being involved.

I'm typing this from the bushes outside Vin Scully's house

I know the guy is a hall of famer, but really, who stalks Bob Uecker? Oh, apparently this crazy lady.

Hall of Fame sportscaster Bob Uecker is looking for the courts to help keep a woman away from him.

He's seeking a restraining order against a woman he contends has been harassing him for years. He says last week she confronted him at a hotel pool over his refusal to assist her charity work.

In court filings, Uecker says Ann Ladd has been bothering him for six or seven years by sending unsolicited gifts, driving around his home in Wisconsin and having contact with him in various cities. The filing was first reported by the investigative Web site The Smoking Gun.

Jeez, I liked Mr. Belvedere as much as the next guy, but this is taking things a little too far.

No sex please, we're dead

Australia is creeping ever closer to fascism, it seems. The powers that be have apparently decided that it's a bad thing to be able to get your freak on directly after Uncle Bob's funeral.

There's a time and place for everything, local Australian governments have ruled as they move to stop brothels opening near cemeteries.

Local governments in the northern state of Queensland have called on state authorities to establish an exclusion zone banning brothels opening within 200 metres (220 yards) of cemeteries.

This all started in a place near Brisbane called Ipswitch, where freedom-hating officials blocked the building of a new brothel across the street from the town cemetery, depriving who knows how many sex care providers fulfilling jobs.

Ipswich Mayor Paul Pisasale told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio on Tuesday that cemeteries were places for quiet reflection by families who should not have to put up with "a brothel going on next door".

"It's totally inappropriate. There's a place for brothels and a place for cemeteries and we don't believe the two mix," he said.

Well, at least he admits that there's a place for brothels, unlike here in puritanical Amerikkka. I hope noted right wing death beast Tim Blair is happy.

"I'm the goddamn Batman."

If this pretty funny comic book review is any indication, Frank Miller has gone completely insane. Batshit insane, if you will. The story doesn't seem to make any sense, the dialogue is terrible (see the title of this post), and the characters all seem to be suffering from intense mental illnesses. I mean, moreso than usual. Because Batman is pretty well insane to begin with, but his problems seem a lot more...intense in this title. Click on the link, and you'll see what I mean.