Srsly

Um, dude, your doin it rong:

A man who said he wanted to rob a FedEx Kinko's store Tuesday morning handed over a note and then waited outside for police to arrive, officers said.

Portland police officers were called to the FedEx store on Southwest Barbur and Terwiliger boulevards just before 9 a.m.

Paul Rhoney, an employee at the store, said officers showed up within six minutes after the man handed over the note.

According to Rhoney, the note said, "This is a robbery, I'll wait outside for police, sorry."

I don't know much about robbing a FedEx guy (or anybody else, for that matter) but, this seems like the wrong way to go about it.

Or was it? He may have had an ingenious plan...

Police identified the man as 46-year-old Thomas Decker.

Wheat said no robbery charges will be filed because Decker did not have a weapon and didn't carry out the robbery. Police believe he simply wanted to go to jail.

If you fail at going to jail on purpose, is there anything below that?

Oh, wait. Dude. When they don't take you to jail, they can't confiscate your shoelaces, can they?