A little late...

...but you can still hear a few of your favorite Christmas songs, sung by the cast of the Venture Bros.

A fitting end to a life of evil

Bryan Preston at Hot Air sums up the life and crimes of Saddam Hussein in a clear and succinct post. His conclusion:

Saddam Hussein was an evil man. He was the Hitler that we stopped before he could do even more damage. Tonight he’s dead. Good.

I wholeheartedly concur.

Dear ABC News

I understand that you wanted to give us the news that Saddam Hussein is dead in a timely fashion, and really, that's commendable. But did you really have to do it right before Trebek was about to reveal the answer on Final Jeopardy? Right that very second? Because, you know, I was watching that.

love and kisses,
Sean M.

p.s. I guessed correctly. It was "Phantom of the Opera."

Cool site

Today, I found the official website for one of my favorite contemporary authors, Haruki Murakami. If you've ever read any of his stuff, you might want to check it out. And if you haven't read any of his work, check it out anyway. He's written some really great books.

Man wins stupid contest

So, in this town up in Wisconsin, they have a club that crowns the "World Champion Liar" every year. Sounds kind of interesting, right? Wrong:

A bit of funny math helped James Wilberg win the title of top liar. His winning quip: "There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who are good at math, and those who are not."

That's it? That's not an outrageous lie, it's a lame joke. If you click on the link, you can read the other submissions that got honorable mentions, which are just as lame.

"I don't even know where I'm at."

If they gave a Nobel Prize for stupidest carjacker of the year, this guy would definitely be a finalist:

A carjacker called 911 and turned himself in to police after he crashed a stolen SUV twice and got lost during his escape from the crime scene. Claude King, 31, called police from a Palm Springs pay phone and confessed to stealing the GMC Envoy Tuesday night, The Palm Beach Post reported.

"Um, I committed a crime," he told the police dispatcher. "I stole a vehicle."

He asked for officers to respond to his location, but when the dispatcher asked where the vehicle was, King didn't have an answer.

"I couldn't even tell you," he said. "I don't even know where I'm at."

Now, I've never stolen a car before, but I have been lost once or twice, and, like most people who get lost, I looked for a gas station where I could get directions. I never felt the need to get the police involved.

The police came and got King, who knows where he's at now, cooling his heels in the Palm Beach County Jail.

The smell in the cell

Haaving never been locked up myself, I can only guess that being in jail probably stinks. In this case, quite literally:

Brian Bruggeman caused a stink at the Lincoln County [Nebraska] Jail earlier this month and will now have to answer for it in court. Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleges that Bruggeman's flatulence, passed in close proximity to Dorris, sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail.

Now Bruggeman, 38, faces a Jan. 11 preliminary hearing on the state's complaint of assault by a confined person. It's a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Bruggeman is accused of injuring Dorris, his cellmate, when he pushed him into cell bars. Dorris, 26, was not charged.

So he farts on the guy and then beats him up to boot? Sounds like someone needs to work on improving his manners. At least he'll have plenty of time to do so if he's convicted.

Gerald Ford, RIP

He died tonight at age 93. I was too young to remember much about his administration, having been born at the tail end of it, but he always seemed like a nice enough guy.

I looked for the end of this Simpsons episode, where an animated version of Ford makes an appearance, on You Tube, but no dice. It came to mind because I got the seventh season DVD set for Christmas, and that's one of the episodes from that season.

Update: I found the clip on Google Video.

Just say no to the ho ho hoes

I hardly ever have any sex with prostitutes. Well, actually, I never have. With prostitutes, that is. So, anyway, where's my prize?

The South Korean government is handing out gifts for office workers who promise not to visit brothels this holiday season.

"If you promise yourself to make it a healthy night out at the end of the year, and if you recommend this to others, we are giving lots of prizes," the Ministry of Gender Equality said in an Internet posting.

The ministry is offering to pay companies whose employees pledge not to buy sex after what are typically alcohol-soaked, year-end parties.

Well, getting a prize for avoiding the hoes is nice, but I happen to think that virtue is its own reward. That, and not having genital warts.

A ministry spokesman confirmed the campaign but declined to answer questions about it.

But a ministry official told the Korea Times daily: "Korean corporate culture that includes heavy drinking is also what makes buying sex acceptable as a way for male-bonding, which is proving to be a hard-to-break ritual."

Huh. Who'd have thought that hard drinking and whoremongering would be hard habits to break?

Merry Christmas!

I hope Santa brought all of you lots of good stuff this year. If you were good, that is.

Sad news for Christmas

James Brown, the Godfather of Soul and the Hardest Working Man in Showbusiness has passed away. Fans of classic soul music (myself included) will miss him dearly. He was 73.

"It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank..."

"A Fairytale of New York," by the Pogues and the late Kirsty MacColl. It's a beautiful song, but it contains some harsh language. Nonetheless, it always brings a tear to my eye.

Pick your battles

Some people are very passionate about certain issues. Then, there's this guy who's as crazy as a shithouse rat:

A man used flammable liquid to light himself on fire, apparently to protest a San Joaquin Valley school district's decision to change the names of winter and spring breaks to Christmas and Easter vacation.

You read that right. He set himself on fire because they changed the names of holiday vacations. I guess his devotion to the principles of secularism is admirable, if not his sanity.

The man, who was not immediately identified, on Friday also set fire to a Christmas tree, an American flag and a revolutionary flag replica, said Fire Captain Garth Milam.

Seeing the flames, Sheriff's Deputy Lance Ferguson grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran to the man.

Flames were devouring a Christmas tree next to the Liberty Bell, where public events and demonstrations are common.

Beside the tree the man stood with an American flag draped around his shoulders and a red gas can over his head.

Seeing the deputy, the man poured the liquid over his head. He quickly burst into flames when the fumes from the gas met the flames from the tree.

The deputy ordered the man to drop to the ground as he and a parole agent sprayed him with fire extinguishers.

"The man stood there like this," the deputy said with his arms across his chest and his head bent down, "Saying no, no, no."

And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling deputies!

Now, normal people would write strongly-worded letters to the school board, or even go to a meeting to voice their displeasure with this decision. But that's not very funny. This, on the other hand, is hi-friggin'-larious.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell. But I'm only saying out loud (or, in this case, writing down) what everyone else was thinking.

Update: Allah has more here, including stills of the guy from a local news story. He looks a lot less, um...crispy than I thought he would.

Stick a fork in me

Well, actually, don't. That's just my way of saying I'm done. With my Christmas shopping, that is. That's the advantage of having a pretty small family: just about every year, I can get my shopping done in a day or two at the very last minute. I never set foot in the mall, either. And I didn't even have to buy anything online and wait for it to get lost in the mail or stuck in Denver.

Feel free to hate on me in the comments if you're running around like crazy to try and find Elmo dolls, Nintendo Wiis, conflict-free diamond jewelery and such for your huge and demanding family. It's okay.

I'm not lovin' it

I don't really eat at McDonald's very often. Maybe once or twice a year. I don't intensely dislike the food there, but I don't really dig it, either. Maybe these people feel a bit more strongly about the quality of the food they serve there:

An employee working the drive-through window at a McDonald's will have a tale to tell. When the worker went to the open window thinking the car pulling up had already ordered, the people in the car threw a dead cat through the window, police said.

Cedar Rapids Animal Control officer Matt McAtee said the black domestic shorthair appeared to have been dead for a while.

"It looked like somebody had picked it up off the road," McAtee said.

Oddly enough, the article doesn't mention what was done with the dead cat.

Lethargy

That's what I've been feeling all day. This is the first time I've been anywhere near a computer today, and I just don't feel like poking around for some news to make fun of.

Perhaps I just had a litrtle too much Christmas cheer (meaning, in this case, chilled Ketel One) at the boss's Christmas party last night. Don't worry—I didn't do anything embarrassing—I'm just not used to drinking very much on weeknights.

Anyway, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

An ideal world

Mrs. R. at Wuzzadem imagines a world where Chris Matthews asks hard questions, Matt Damon is shamed for being a douche, and Robert DeNiro apologizes for liberal Hollywood's sins against the bulk of the American moviegoing public. You won't want to miss the part where the movie stars of yesteryear who all served with the Allies in WWII are mentioned.

Let's just say that Jimmy Stewart is probably spinning furiously in his grave.

(Read about 3/4 of the way down on the bio page I linked to see what I mean.)

Seasonal bad idea

This sort of thing seems to happen at least once every winter here in Southern California:

Two Long Beach women are recovering from carbon monoxide poisoning after they used a barbecue inside their home to battle the recent wave of chilly weather.

Paramedics were called to a duplex occupied by six family members at 1725 Jackson St. at 9:30 Monday night, according to Long Beach fire Capt. Mike Duree.

When they arrived, they found a 64-year-old woman lying face down, unconscious, on the porch, with her front door cracked open. While she was revived, firefighters searched her side of the duplex and found a small barbecue being used to heat the duplex, Duree said.

Inside they found the victim's daughter, a woman in her 30s. The daughter was conscious, but started showing signs of carbon monoxide poisoning while accompanying her mother to the hospital in an ambulance.

Both women were admitted to Long Beach Memorial Hospital. Officials say both women are showing stable signs Tuesday morning and are expected to survive.

Four other people who are related to the two women live on the other side of the duplex, Duree said. Firefighters made sure everyone was out of the building, then opened windows and doors to clear the air.

The use of a barbecue indoors is never safe because of the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning.

The thing is, this usually happens to poor people who don't have heating in their home or apartment. But when I saw this on the news this morning, one of the near-dead women's relatives was interviewed and said they had central heating in the house, but they just wanted to "try something different."

Unbelievable.

A little Xmas cheer

The video quality is pretty poor, but the song is still really funny.

White bread

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I pretty much figured that this would be the result I'd get. After all, I'm a white guy from California whose parents are transplanted midwesterners.

(Via Sean Gleeson)

Gingerbread Nazis strike again

Remember the artist asshole who had too take down the "holiday display" he made featuring gingerbread Nazis? Well, he found someplace else to put it up, and is doing at the bestest possible time of the year:

An artist who was forced to remove his Nazi gingerbread men from the window of a hardware store has set up the display in an empty storefront in another town.

"The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men" depicts a small gathering at a Nazi rally. Keith McGuckin set up the display in this northeastern Ohio city Thursday night, a day before the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begins at sundown.

My emphasis, of course. What a dick this guy is. I understand that he has a right to express himself, but this is obviously in bad taste. And again, he uses the "I didn't mean to offend people, I just wanted to provoke thought" line. Well, get this:

He said he wasn't aware he had set up the Nazi gingerbread men so close to Hanukkah.

"This one does seem to rub people the wrong way," he said. "But I hope it'll stay up for a little while."

Well, since people obviously are offended, why be so pig-headed about wanting it to stay up, even after learning that he's putting it back up right around Hanukkah? Because he's a dick, that's why. Pardon me for lacking the Christmas spirit, but I hope somebody kicks his ass.

I am pathetic

When it comes to any automotive task more difficult than filling up the gas tank, I'm worse than useless. Case in point: today, I bought a new pair of wiper blades. I tried to install these new blades, and couldn't figure out how to do so. I had to drive back to the auto parts store and get the clerk to show me how.

I'm pretty sure I could feel my balls shriveling up and retreating into my body.

Oops, I let an anniversary slip by

I don't have any evidence, so you'll have to believe me when I tell you that I'm the person who sent the e-mail to K-Lo that inspired this post in The Corner three years ago, yesterday, when they dragged Saddam out of his spider hole.

But I did.

That terrible, horrible nibbling sound...

Not even death itself could keep this animal lover from feeding the little critters he so loved:

A deputy investigating neighbors' latest complaint that a reclusive homeowner fed rats and didn't take out the garbage found a decomposing body in the home with rats feeding on it.

Health officials believe the body found Monday is that of the house's resident, Thomas H. Stone, 67, though the medical examiner's office hadn't confirmed his identity as of Thursday.

Is it possible for something to be both heartwarming and sickening at the same time? Maybe, but not in this case. That's just plain nasty.

"In the end, he wouldn't even take out the garbage," said Tom Ellis, a neighbor. "It looks like he never took down the Christmas decorations from when his mother died in 1999. It was all very Edgar Allan Poe-ish."

Ellis and other neighbors began complaining about rats to the county health department, sheriff's office and city council members about five years ago.

"I wanted to get him help," Ellis said, "and I wanted the rats to go away."

Officials visited the house repeatedly and told Stone to stop feeding the rats, clean up his property and hire a pest control company, said Hilary Karasz, a spokeswoman for Public Health _ Seattle & King County.

Somehow, I don't think any of that sunk in.

They also sent him a bunch of letters, fined him, and got a lien on his house, but he never responded to any of those measures. And now, I think we all know why.

Bear with me

I switched over to the blogger beta version and changed my template so I could customize it, and it dumped my haloscan comments and trackbacks. I'm trying to reinstall them, but for the time being, if you want to leave a comment, the old blogger commenting system is running.

I totally called this

When I heard the news that Eric Gagne had signed with the Rangers, I predicted to my brother that occasional commenter, real-life friend, and Super Dooper Dodger fan Andy wouldn't take it well.

See the evidence of my prescience for yourselves.

Weird in Wisconsin

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's been burying radioactive toxic waste in the woods of Wisconsin:

Rick Lisko hunts deer with a bow but got his most unusual one driving his truck down his mile-long driveway. The young buck had nub antlers and seven legs. Lisko said it also had both male and female reproductive organs. "It was definitely a freak of nature," Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."

I should hope it's a rarity. If there are a lot of extra-legged hemaphrodite deer running around, I'd say something really wrong is going on. Like the nuclear waste I mentioned a minute ago.

When he looked at the animal, he noticed three- to four-inch appendages growing from the rear legs. Later, he found a smaller appendage growing from one of the front legs.

"It's a pretty weird deer," he said, describing the extra legs as resembling "crab pinchers."

"It kind of gives you the creeps when you look at it," he said, but he thought he saw the appendages moving, as if they were functional, before the deer was hit.

*Shudder* That gives me the heebiest kind of jeebies.

John Hoffman of Eden Meat Market skinned the deer for Lisko, who wasn't going to waste the venison from the animal.

"And by the way, I did eat it," Lisko said. "It was tasty."

Well, it may very well have been tasty, but don't come crying to me when you start breaking out in vaginas and sprouting extra arms.

Nightmare comes true

Remember that nightmare you used to have about the toilet when you were a little kid? Well, it turns out that your fears weren't entirely irrational.

An Australian wildlife worker pulled a 7-foot python out of a septic tank Wednesday after a plumber found it hiding in a woman's toilet, officials said.

Peter Phillips, a wildlife officer for the Northern Territory's Parks and Wildlife Service, was called to remove the snake after a plumber who was fixing the blocked toilet discovered it curled in the pipes.

"The ... resident originally called a plumber because her toilet was blocked," Phillips said in a statement released by the Northern Territory government. "I arrived to see a large python head peering out of the toilet bowl."

The article does not specify whether or not any monsters were also found in the woman's closet.

That didn't take long

So, Democratic Senator Tim Johnson has a stroke, and it only takes the usual suspects twelve comments before the tinfoil hats come out.

I can't say I'm surprised.

"I'm certainly proud of the ass painting"

Whoever said that a fool and his money are soon parted was absolutely right. Case in point:

To hear the students tell it, Stephen Murmer is a fun, popular art teacher who is always quick to crack a joke. But there is another side to Murmer. A side that has agitated school officials and resulted in his suspension. A side that focuses, almost entirely, on the crack in his backside.

Outside of class and under an alter ego, the self-proclaimed "butt-printing artist" creates floral and abstract art by plastering his posterior and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas. His cheeky creations sell for hundreds of dollars.

People pay hundreds of dollars to buy paintings that this guy makes with his ass and junk? I'm definitely in the wrong line of work.

Anyway, the school district got wind of his extracurricular activities and suspended him. The ACLU is involved, of course.

Murmer went to great lengths to keep his work life separate from his activities as an artist, said ACLU executive director Kent Willis. As a butt-printing artist, he goes by the name "Stan Murmur," and appears in disguise in photographs and videos promoting his art.

"As a public employee, he has constitutional rights, and he certainly has the right to engage in private legal activities protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution," Willis said.

A nearly naked Murmer expressed concern about remaining incognito during a 2003 appearance on the now-canceled cable television talk show, "Unscrewed With Martin Sargent." In a clip from the show, available on YouTube.com, Murmer dons a fake nose and glasses, a towel on his head, a black thong - and nothing else.

"I'm certainly proud of the ass painting," Murmer said in response to questions about his disguise. "I do have a real job where I do have real clients and I don't think they'd be too understanding if I was also the guy who painted with my ass."

Well, I guess he was right, wasn't he?

But slightly changing his name and going on a talk show nearly naked doesn't really sound like going to "great lengths" to protect his secret identity.

Frankly, I'm not sure whose side I fall on with this one. I'm pretty much still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people actually pay hundreds of dollars for paintings this guy makes with his ass.

Two great tastes, together at last

Do you like A Charlie Brown Christmas? Do you like Scrubs? Well, if you answered yes to both of those questions, you'll enjoy the former redubbed by the cast of the latter:



Via tv squad and Gorilla Mask.

Zombie demands benefits

Aaaaah! A woman has apparently come back from the grave, and she wants Medicare benefits!

Margaret C. Morris and her insurance company now agree: She's alive.

Several months ago, her insurance company, Medicare or both dropped her coverage because they presumed the 95-year-old woman was dead.

"It's disgusting and it's irritating and it's frustrating, and if you can think of any other words, go ahead and use them," Morris said. "And I'm not dead. I'm not even close to it."

Morris' daughter, Margaret Spring, said the problem started when she fired her mother's hospice nurse. Spring thinks a hospice official checked the wrong box or typed in the wrong code when the agency was dismissed, making Medicare — and, later, her insurer — believe Morris was dead.

Okay, so my lead-in was a little misleading. She was never actually dead. That we know of, anyway.

But don't they usually require a death certificate before they declare that someone's dead? I know that when someone croaks and their family wants to collect on their life insurance, the insurance companies are pretty insistent about getting one of those. I guess they're a little less strict about that on the health insurance side.

Don't call the cops, dude

I know it sucks to get ripped off, but sometimes you've just got to say, "Aw, screw it," cut your losses. This would be one of those times:

A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home.

The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.

Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

And now, this poor crime victim is in jail. Stunning, isn't it, that someone with that much weed on hand wouldn't have thought that through.

Most embarrassing study ever

Oh, dear Krishna, this is just too funny:

Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4 cm (one inch) shorter than those condoms catered for.

For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least 5 cm (two inches). A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.

Well, I guess it's not all that funny if you're an Indian guy with a tiny, tiny penis. But for the rest of us, comedy gold. And it gets even better:

The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story "Indian men don't measure up."

Insult, meet Injury. Do you get the feeling that there's at least one very angry, bitter female scientist behind this? Because I'm sort of picking up that vibe.

Pearl Harbor Day

Click photo to enlarge. (Via The Naval Historical Center.)

Sixty-five years ago today, we were attacked by the Japanese, plunging the United States into World War II. I've mentioned before that my Grandpa joined the Navy and saw combat in both Europe and the Pacific. He's no longer with us, but if he were, today would be a day when I would thank him for what he and millions of others around the globe did during those difficult years. And if anyone reading this served with the Allies in World War II, I'd like to wish you the same heartfelt thanks for your sacrifices.

Hardly surprising

Hmmmmm...see if you can see the most unsurprising part of this article coming:

Authorities in a Malaysian city have warned waitresses and female staff of retail outlets that they face a $138 fine if they wear revealing and tight fitting clothes, a news report said Tuesday.

Wait for it...Wait for it...

The Kota Baru town's municipal council has said it will no longer tolerate indecent dressing and will begin enforcing an existing Islamic law that prohibits indecent dressing, The Star newspaper said.

And there it is. I bet you saw that coming a mile away. I know I certainly did.

Kota Baru is the capital of the northeastern Kelantan state, the only Malaysian state to be ruled by an opposition Islamic fundamentalist party. All other Malaysian states are governed by the secular United Malays National Organization and its allies.

The government in Kelantan imposes Islamic regulations such as separate check out counters for men and women at supermarkets.

The bylaw on proper feminine attire prohibits Muslim and non-Muslim women from wearing body hugging outfits, blouses that show the navel, see-through blouses, miniskirts and tight pants.

[...]

In addition to the general dress code, Muslim women are also bound by law to wear ankle-length dresses and to cover their hair and forehead.

"We apologize to non-Muslims if this comes across as harsh but we must respect our Asian culture and religion in public," State local government committee chairman Takiyuddin Hassan was quoted as saying.

That's funny. I'm no expert on Asian cultures, but I'm pretty sure that there are many of them that don't require women to cover up almost completely. Japan comes to mind. No, I'm actually pretty sure this has a lot less to do with the "Asian culture" thing than it has to do with the religion.

Anyway, this is a really bad idea. Don't they understand that once tight pants are outlawed, only outlaws will have tight pants?

That crying baby doesn't seem so bad

Well, not compared to what happened in Nashville the other day. I mean, that dry, recycled air in the cabins on commercial flights is bad enough without this:

It may be one problem airline security officials never envisioned -- a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odors from her flatulence.

The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington, D.C., said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport.

Other passengers reported the odor of burned matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Lowrance said on Wednesday.

"Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

I bet everyone was really happy with her after all of that. I mean, think of all the other passengers on that plane who missed connecting flights because of the farty woman. I bet they were pleased as punch.

She wasn't charged with any crimes, but it seems like she ought to pay for the canine search team at the very least.

Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Lowrance said.

"I've had calls from people all over the country about this," she said. "And I don't have the answer to this problem."

Well, you could always try using some of this. Or, you could just lay off the beans and cabbage before heading off to the airport.

"Conveying vulgarity in the society"

I hope nobody shows this Indian lawyer any American teenage sex comedies like American Pie or Porky's. He'd probably have a stroke.

A kissing scene from a movie starring Bollywood actors Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan has irked a lawyer who has filed a criminal case against them, accusing them of obscenity, he said on Sunday.

Shailendra Dwivedi of Indore, near Bhopal, the capital of central Madhya Pradesh state, said the scene from the movie, titled "Dhoom 2," lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to youth.

"Bollywood actors are conveying vulgarity in the society," Dwivedi told Reuters. "These films cannot be watched with our families, they are so vulgar at times."

Of course, this seems like an overreaction to you and me, what with all the sex and nudity we have in our movies, but maybe we can turn this to our advantage and get Sharon Stone thrown into prison for Basic Instinct 2.

Heil Santa

So, a chain of stores had to destroy its entire inventory of a certain Santa Claus figurine because people thought it looked like Santa was giving the Nazi salute. Do I even have to tell you which country this happened in? Of course not.

Josef Lange, a spokesman for the Rossmann chain that has 1,200 outlets, told Reuters Friday the figures depicting Father Christmas with his right arm stiffly upright toward the sky and holding a sack in his left hand upset some customers.

"We were astonished by the reaction," Lange said. "It looks like he's just pointing up to the sky and we were surprised that anyone saw the so-called 'Hitler salute' in that. But we responded and had the entire inventory removed and destroyed."

People tend to be somewhat sensitive to something like that in your part of the world, Josef, so I don't see why you'd be "astonished" by people taking offense.

What's up with all the Nazi stuff this Christmas, anyway?

Junk, food

It's bad enough, having to work at a fast food joint, but when some guy pulls a stunt like this, well, that just adds to the suck.

A teen accused of ordering from at least three fast food drive-thrus nude faces an indecent exposure charge. David Gatton, 18, of Columbia City, was found in the parking lot of a McDonald's by a sheriff's deputy after police received a call that the teen had been nude when he ordered from his car at the Arby's drive-thru, police said.

[...]

Sgt. Mike Engle of the Whitley County Sheriff's Department passed the car Tuesday night in Columbia City, 20 miles west of Fort Wayne. Engle said he turned around to stop the car and saw that Gatton had driven into the McDonald's lot.

When Engle got to the car, Gatton was putting his clothes back on. Police said Gatton had a clothed male passenger in the car and the pair had been making the stops as part of a joke. Gatton faces a misdemeanor charge.

Well, I guess the joke's on him, because now everybody knows that he was driving around naked with another dude. And that's kinda gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Well, the gay part, anyway. The exposing yourself to minimum wage earners part is pretty wrong.